The first three words in the sub-title above were adorned on banners along the entrance to a high-end prep school in the Mid- Atlantic, symbols of the institution’s virtue. My middle son (the failed trumpet player) and I were there at 8 a.m. for a Sunday lacrosse tournament. And yes, we were wayyyy early.

The last six words in the sub-title were what I added after reading aloud the first three. Sitting in the front seat of the car, my son instantly grinned and began laughing.

The school’s slogans are perfectly noble and prime catchwords of a sensitive age. It’s nice that young people are encouraged to think about high ideals and act accordingly. But at the time, the slogans underscored an ethos, however well-intentioned, that really didn’t cut it with me. In my narrowly wide-ranging world there were other markings: What really counts is doing, not feeling.

Think about it. Perhaps a kid’s life should not be consumed by saluting pop, voguish, beliefs-of-the-day. Maybe a few or most parents – consumed themselves with ensuring that their child can read, write and do math, have worthy friends and pursue worthwhile activities – think the same way. And maybe that’s why a 10-year-old kid confronted with the stark juxtaposition of the words above and what they represent, instantly laughs out loud.

I chuckled as well and then said, “Hey son, you know your old man likes diversity and justice just fine. But there’s a helluva lot more. Like just getting it done.”

“That’s what we gotta do today against  St. Paul's“ he replied.

“Bingo, pal,” I responded. “The world – and I mean me, your friends and teachers and coaches – are always looking at you, seeing how you maneuver and perform. That’s the way life works. Attitude and skills and hustle and effort are how you are judged. Don’t ever forget it.” Yes, strong stuff for a young boy. But he understood.

Indeed, he was about to play in a tournament where teams won because they had good, tough players, not because they were righteous or woke. The world rewards and respects accomplishment. Period. If you think otherwise, paste on a big smile when your kid announces he or she has just failed a class.

Perhaps a kid’s life should not be consumed by saluting pop, voguish, beliefs-of-the-day. Maybe a few or most parents – consumed themselves with ensuring that their child can read, write and do math, have worthy friends and pursue worthwhile activities – think the same way. As Colin Powell says, there’s no magic. It’s all about sweat, determination, and hard work.

And no, I wasn’t dismissive of basic civic virtue. For example, I required all three sons to participate in community service. I compelled them to help out at the local YMCA and participate in winter coat drives. I demanded they go to local schools and help tutor disadvantaged kids in math and English. I stood next to them at food banks handing out lunches to folks down on their luck. Good Lord, you want to talk about the real world?! You want to talk about staring human behavior and choices straight in the eye? The boys would come back from these events more thoughtful - and more world-wise - than ever.

The world rewards and respects accomplishment. Period. If you think otherwise, paste on a big smile when your kid announces he or she has just failed a class.

Years later, that same son and I were at that same school for one of his last high school football games. His team lost the game and he played badly and we both knew this wasn’t going to be a fun ride home (no amount of preparation and confidence can erase a fourth-quarter goal- line fumble). We were driving out of the school at dusk when despite his sour mood, he chuckled and pointed out the car window at one of the aforementioned banners.

Spontaneously, I read aloud the first three words. From memory, having heard my pointed, six-word exhortation innumerable times, he laughed and filled in the rest.  He had got the joke when he was 10-years-old and after seven-years in an increasingly feelings-saturated, woke world, it was even more funny now.