I’ve been fortunate to have had a number of exciting jobs in

Washington, D.C.: A staffer for three Members of Congress on

Capitol Hill, a special assistant to senior Cabinet members in the

Executive branch, and an advance man on numerous nationwide

political campaigns.

These posts required a minimum of desk

time mutely staring at a screen and a maximum of time in

action, always two steps behind politicians at work in

Washington, D.C. and in their travel all over the nation and the

world.

But even with the glam and excitement, politics is an erratic

game; if you’re not winning, you’re losing and that means

getting fired when your guy is on the south side of an election.

All which led me to find secure work and a stable schedule so as

to be around during my sons’ pre-teen and teenage years.

All of which is to say (and maybe you know this from your own

experience), I know well of what a desk job often consists: The

day-to-day mild drudgery, the relent- less emails and ensuing

chaotic email chains that stretch into oblivion; the routine

meetings - yes, with Wayne and his Ad-hoc Compliance Team

and Stephanie and her self-styled merry band of “Budgeteers!”;

the meticulous track changes in “urgent!” documents that

languish and un-urgently disappear forever; teleconferences and

Zoom calls where dogs bark in the background and someone is

always chewing their lunch out loud.

Hey, I’m no self- pitying martyr; I’m grateful for my job and my colleagues. I dearly

appreciate my regular paycheck because – and I admit this freely

- I know better than you what it’s like not to get that paycheck.

If I wanted one thing for my boys - just one thing - I wanted my

three sons to soar way beyond my endgame resulting in this

commonplace career. I wanted them pursuing a path that led to

exciting endeavors, jobs packed with responsibility, positions

requiring leadership and risk and real rewards.

This was the path on which they were set forth by all that you’ve

read up to now. Middle school and high school were proving

grounds and now it was vital that they approach college and

beyond with imagination and vision. One way I made that

happen, as with the section above, was to show them the dismal

alternatives.

_______________

What with school and athletic and family responsibilities, we

were an active bunch and often we’d be driving through the

nation’s Capital and suburbs throughout the metropolitan area

for all sorts of events and errands. Throughout all these miles of

varied travel, there was only one thing that stayed static: Office

buildings. From one-story to 30 stories, from low-slung brick

pillboxes in office parks to tall concrete and steel monoliths

lined up for blocks, the landscape was uniform and ever-present.

In a funny way, I’ve always thought office buildings, no matter

where or what size, had a kind of brooding feel (just look at the building
in the photo above - positively evil). Hulking

buildings covered from street level to the clouds with

anonymous windows; the gathering point for dozens and

thousands of individuals brought together from the points of the

compass to one single place at a designated time to dig in and

work. (Of course, that is changing now.)

It was one weekend afternoon after a school field trip when it

occurred to me that I could make a point larger than even what

was before our eyes.

“Boys, I want you to notice something,” I said as we drove

down a thoroughfare featuring suburban office parks in

Montgomery County, Maryland. “Check out all these office

buildings. We pretty much see them everywhere we go, all kinds

of sizes.” The boys obligingly looked out the car windows. “Let

me tell you, I’ve worked in these kinds of places and you want

to know a secret about them?” They swung their heads towards

me in expectation; of course I had them.

“Here it is: Behind every window up there is some guy sitting at

a desk with a computer screen in front of him. He’s got a

Redskins coffee mug, a clay pencil holder like the one you made

me in 2nd grade and a photo of his family on the wall. He’s like

about every other guy in that building. At one time, he had some

big dreams about what he wanted to do with his life. He had a

great football career at Landon and was going to play in college,

he was going to make a ton of money in his cousin’s business or

be a Wall Street guy or invent a video game like Madden or sail

around the world or own a restaurant or be a jet pilot. But he’s

not doing that. None of those guys are.”

They looked at me quizzically and the middle kid asked the

obvious, “Then what are they doing?” I paused for effect. “I’ll

tell you what they’re doing. All these good guys are sitting in

these stupid office buildings, staring at screens and wondering,

‘What in the hell am I doing here?’”

The boys laughed at the phrase, a typical Dad utterance. Then I

added, “It’s not that they’re sad or anything. It’s that they

wanted a lot more and somehow didn’t get it.” I knew there was

a faint glimmer of understanding in what I’d said.

We kept driving through the sprawl. The colorless buildings

with their reflected walls of glass, the oceans of empty asphalt

parking lots, the desolation – all of it outlines the gloom pretty

well for a 12-year-old and even an 8-year-old. It did for me.

I went on. “Let me tell you, you don’t want to grow up to be that

office building guy - that guy who had real talent and real drive

and maybe had a good few years but ended up as just another

Joe sitting in front of a screen.” And then the clincher: “I work

in one those boring places and I’m one of those guys. And I’m

telling you, you always need to reach a lot further than me.”

It doesn’t get more honest than that.

The key point here is that it was imperative that my three sons

soar far, far beyond the type of aspiration of landing a nice job

with its unending routine and monotony and incremental

advancement. I was acutely focused, as this entire book

demonstrates, on developing within them the vision to work

hard, discern how to operate in unknown circumstances, play by

the rules, take chances and look long and select a career with

excitement, adventure, and big-time compensation, even if there

was occasional big- time risk.

Thankfully, all three sons are on that path today.